Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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