i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
