Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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