worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
