with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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