I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
