matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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