all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
