oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
