im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
