i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize