Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
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