I think i peed on brittanys purse
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
