we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
