i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
We need to get me chipped asap
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
