It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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