Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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