P.S. I can't hear my feet
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
