I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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