the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize