New low: just hacked my moms facebook
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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