my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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