one two three fourrrrnication!
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I stole a fireplace last night.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
