the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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