is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
