I cut my penus on the lid.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
