Kiss
Puke
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize