dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
