His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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