Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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