the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
