my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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