is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
