saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
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