high people should be assigned attendants
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You need Xanax blowdarts
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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