you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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