you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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