I want to stick my p in your. b.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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