I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
