I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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