Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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