TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
