So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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