im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
