jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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