if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He better not be in your backpack
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize