You're so nebulous sometimes
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
All I want is dick and wine.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
