So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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