Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just invented taco cereal.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
