i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
ttyl tear gas
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
