imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
