I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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