Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
