This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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