Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize