So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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