Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
