and you said cock pushups were impossible
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
