Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
