just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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