Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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