It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
